


Data Probe Research

by LittleLuxio



Category: Xenoblade Chronicles X
Genre: Biting, F/M, i dont really know i just wrote whatever pls let me live my life, this ship is trash x trash but i want to live
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-25
Updated: 2016-04-17
Packaged: 2018-05-29 00:16:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6351235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleLuxio/pseuds/LittleLuxio
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Murderess makes a rude post about H.B's dick size. He goes to correct her. NO SPOILERS.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> based ! on this post ! http://the-serial-thriller.tumblr.com/post/141619047998/  
> I'm not a mod at either of those blogs but I thoroughly enjoy them and they make me smile every morning when i wake up !! so here is a tiny little thank you gift for that !  
> if either of u see this the code word is 'h.b's data probe'.  
> I'd send it in but im too timid to do that ):
> 
> If it's spaced out weird thats just because i can't fucking read anything so i gotta space it

Shoes roughly tapping on the ground, losing their usual rhythm as he stormed his way down division drive. H.B was angry, furious even. He’d just got back from the hanger empty handed, he was searching for Murderess. Hanging a sharp left and about to enter the Barracks before glancing over to see her walking her way past the BLADE Concourse, carrying a large duffle bag of what he assumed was items she’d collected on an outing.

 

H.B marched his way over, trying to keep himself from sprinting, trying to hold back his anger. Key word being trying. His shoes clipped on the floor, a few BLADEs glanced over at him, he tried to not look back, keeping focused on his long term goal.

 

He made his way to the Curator's den, no one else seemed to be around and Murderess had just entered in the back, presumably to sort anything she carried. H.B ripped the door open, Murderess glanced around, about to open her mouth before H.B opened his.

 

“How DARE you insinuate such a thing?!” Murderess could tell how angry he was by his tone of voice, she kept her cool, placing a hand on her hip and staring him down.

 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” She snuffed at him, returning back to her sorting work before H.B ripped her chair out from under the desk. Several items fell onto the floor, some shattered. “Hey!” Murderess was pushed back into her chair.

 

“You know what you said, you said it on your blog I _seen_ it.” H.B loosed his grip on her shoulder slightly, Murderess crossed her arms, looking up at him with a smirk.

 

“Oh! Was it that I called your dick, or should I say, _data probe_ , small.” She gave a small chuckle at her own words, H.B seemed to get even angrier, he was obviously trying to hide the fact, taking a deep breath in.

 

“Apologize and delete it.” He let go over her, standing up straight and crossing his arms. Murderess gave a flick of her wrist, leaning back in the chair on her own accord.

 

“Or what? Prove that your dicks not a thin little shrimp cock, and I’ll consider it.” Murderess glanced away for a moment, checking that the room was empty. H.B didn’t seemed to accept the idea with welcome arms.

 

“What, do you just want me to drop my pants? I’d _never-_ ” He was cut off in his speech.

 

“There’s no one else here, just lock the door and you’re set. That is, if you have the balls, Birtwhistle.” Murderess crossed her legs, H.B glared back down at her, giving a scowl almost.

 

“Fine,” He huffed, walking back over to the front door to flick the lock. “But only if you promise to delete that _disgusting_ reply.” H.B walked back over to Murderess, he sat up a little straighter. H.B tried to not blush, feeling numb from embarrassment almost as he unbuckled his pants, pulling them down his legs along with his boxers just enough for his member to be visible. Murderess snorted at the sight almost.

“Oh! It’s smaller than I imagined.” She covered her mouth as she laughed, H.B pulled his pants back up, looking away from the Curator.

 

“That’s because it’s not hard-” He was cut off. That wasn’t the best reply he could muster.

 

“Oh, don’t I turn you on? What a shame.” Murderess teased, standing up and placing a hand on the belt of his pants as he was about to buckle it.

 

“You _don’t_. Now stop that, can I go now?” He hissed back, holding his buckle tight and trying to clip it up under Murderess’ hand.

 

“Not now, I haven’t seen it in all it’s _superior_ glory.” Murderess pressed a hand down to his crotch, H.B gave a grunt but didn’t shy away from the touch.

 

“Fine,” He hissed almost, allowing Murderess to pull his pants back down for him. “But if you don’t remove the post, I’m going to report you for sexual assault.” Murderess gave a snicker at his words, placing her gloved hand over his flaccid cock and pumping it gingerly to try to excite it.

 

“Sure thing, you can watch me delete it if that’s one of your kinks,” Murderess flipped out her Comm. Device with her spare hand, starting to feel H.B’s member harden in her other. The Pathfinder watched as Murderess deleted the post in question, giving a smirk back up to him as she did so before glancing back down at the man’s crotch. “Oh, looks like it’s not so shrimpy after all.” She tried to measure it with her eyes, estimating around 8 or so inches.

 

“Great, can I go now?” H.B tried to pull his pants back up, Murderess’ hand was still wrapped around his member and didn’t seem willing to let go. He gave a scowl at her, she put her Comm. Device away and tightened her grip. “You’re not serious.”

 

“Come on, when is the last time you came in something besides your hand?” She teased him, giving a few light tugs to his cock, he didn’t complain. H.B sure would like to fuck something other than his own palm for once, mulling over the options and the downsides of his choices for a few moments before finally letting his pants drop to the floor.

 

He moved an arm around her, leaning against the table and pulling her close to him. Murderess removed her gloves, allowing her soft hands to caress his dick. H.B let out a soft moan, Murderess gave a teasing smile before using her spare hand to pull his face closer to her own. He pulled back for a moment before leaning in to place his lips upon hers, giving small movements when he thought he needed to.  
Murderess slid her hand against his stomach and up his chest before pulling her head away from his. “Take your armor off.” She mumbled into him, he shook his head, a little taken aback by her request.

 

“Why?-” He thought this would be a quick session. “-What if someone walks in?” Murderess gave a sigh.

 

“You locked the door, it’s the middle of the fucking day everyone is out. Take your armor _off_ .” He almost demanded him to do it, but he obliged, unzipping the front of his armor and pulling the rest off up over his head, trying to not disturb Murderess from pumping his cock.  
Once he’d stripped off his upper gear, he looked back at Murderess, who leaned back into him.

She almost immediately gave stray bites to his neck, testing his pain tolerance almost. H.B just tilted his head to the side and sighed into the sensations of pleasure that he felt.

 

H.B placed a hand on Murderess’ waist, tugging up at her shirt to pull it off. She was about to make a comment about how feisty he was being but she bit her tongue, taking in a deep breath and inhaling his scent. For some reason the Pathfinder always smelt of artificial strawberry flavouring, she was sure that he bathed in it or something. She gave a light kiss to his collarbone before leaning back so he could bring her shirt up over her head. She shook the hair out of her face, about to lean back into him before feeling him reach around her back for the clasp of her bra.

 

“You certainly are _feisty_ aren’t you?” She couldn’t hold herself back anymore, looking him in the eye as she teased him.

 

“You initiated this.” He corrected her, moving back on the table and pulling the smaller Curator up onto the table with him, she flicked the artifacts that lined it out of the way so he could lay flat against it.

She squeezed his cock which was still firmly gripped in his hand as he placed a hand upon one of her breasts, massaging it slowly, giving a flick of his thumb to the soft pink bud that rested upon it. H.B let out a sharp breath, moving another hand down to try to unclip her belt. He flicked her pants off her, pressing at her crotch through her soft underwear. He felt the damp material, teasing her through it.

 

“Looks like I’m not the only one who is-”  
  
“Shut the fuck up.” Murderess moved her hand up to dig her nails into his shoulder, resting her full weight on her hand as she did so. H.B winced a little, but just leaned his head forward to give her a light peck on the cheek as an apology.

 

H.B moved his hand up into her panties, pressing against her clit, moving his fingers in teasingly slow circles. Murderess gave a light mewl almost, pressing her lips back down against his to try to stop herself from making any noises she found embarrassing. He obliged, leaning into the kiss and picking up the pace of his fingers, Murderess gave a smirk into the kiss.

 

“I want your _thick data probe_ inside me.” She murmured into his ear, he gave a huff, but he wasn’t willing to back down now. H.B moved both his hands down to Murderess’ ass, twisting her around so she laid on the table.

In a swift move he pulled her panties down and dropped them onto the floor, moving his hand down to help spread her as he inserted his cock. He slid it in slowly, Murderess let out a low gasp as he did so. H.B let out a small groan, finally getting it as far as it would go, holding for a few moments to allow her to adjust before giving a few small thrusts.

 

He moved a hand back up to one of her breasts, the other on the table below them for support. Murderess wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him closer to her almost. H.B gave rhythmic thrusts, the women below him gave out a few hissed moans every few moments. Murderess wrapped her hands around his back, clawing her nails into him.

 

“You’re never going to make me cum like this,” She loosened her grip for a moment. “Can’t you fuck me any harder?” Murderess teased him, H.B adjusted his glasses.

 

“You’re a fucking bitch, you know that right?” He slammed his cock into her, the table shook and something else fell off it. Murderess let out a high pitched yelp almost.

 

“Oh, see that’s better.” She puffed out. He gave another hard thrust, he was trying to keep quiet but he’d rather Murderess walk away satisfied over have someone overhear them at this point. He gave a few more hard thrusts before slowing back down for a moment and picking his speed up.

 

H.B knew that he was approaching his limit at this point, feeling the fire in his stomach start to alight. He reached down with his spare hand to rub at Murderess’ clit a bit to help her over the edge as well. He had no idea how close she was, but he assumed she was close enough. H.B’s breathing started to loosen, getting more rapid as he felt his orgasm approach.

 

Murderess could sense he was getting closer, pulling him close to her as he came inside of her. He let out a few low moans, giving more loose thrusts, his breathing was irregular and his heart beating fast, as his cock twitched thick strands of cum inside the Curator. She removed her legs from around his waist, pulling his hand away from her crotch.

 

“H-how was that?” H.B stammered a bit, trying to catch his breath as he pulled his pants back on. Murderess gave a shrug, glancing over to him as she cleaned herself up.

 

“ _Simply amazing._ ” Her tone was sarcastic. She pulled her bra on, clipping it up before pulling her shirt over her head and loosely tucking it in.

 

“I’ve got to add,” H.B paused for a moment. “I always thought you were kind of pretty.” His throat felt tight. Murderess glanced back at him before sitting back down in her chair.

 

“Well that’s lovely,” She turned it around, rolling it towards the desk. “I have some work to do now, seeing as you broke half the stuff I brought back.” H.B felt his heart drop almost, getting the hint and leaving.

 

-

 

The next morning H.B awoke to another post by Murderess.

  
_‘Superior Scepter my ass, H.B is a shit ass lay.’_  
  
He thought of approaching her about it, but decided against it. Groaning as he rolled over in his bed, replying with a small _‘Likewise, to you too.’_ before getting up to get to work.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't going to write more to this, but i did.  
> not really based on any posts this time ! i was going to include something about the new Phog blog but i couldn't think of anything, and it wasn't too relevant.   
> anyway !! here it is !!!!!!

H.B found himself in a common predicament as of late; each morning he found himself waking up from dreams about a certain Curator. Each morning he found himself either hard or his boxers were just wet and clung to him. He felt like a child.

He tried everything he could to try to get it to stop, but the images of Murderess with her hands wrapped around his cock haunted his thoughts and he just couldn’t get it out of his head. Ever since he’d had his first run in with her, it just seemed to cause his feelings to strengthen. H.B could barely go a couple hours without thinking about her or the way she looked beneath him. Or the way she looked in general. How soft her skin was, and how gentle her moans were compared her to rough temperament. 

And he was hard once again.

 

The Pathfinder felt like a teenager, he was nearing 30 and he was fantasizing about someone who tormented him every day on social media. Great. Not that he minded her banters too much, as much as it made him angry and hurt him he still loved interacting with her, but there was another problem at hand. In his hand.

 

H.B was glad to be able to have an apartment in BLADE Barracks to himself, especially as of late. The amount of loads he’d had to blow to get himself to calm down had been ridiculous; everything considered. But here he was again, his cock in his hand and his pants draped around his ankles.

 

Giving loose pumps to his member, he inhaled a sharp breath, trying to focus on another fantasy to get himself off rather than just on his encounter with Murderess. But he couldn’t. Every stroke to his cock brang the images of her back into his head. H.B closed his eyes to try to focus more heavily on different thoughts; trying to detach himself-

 

“Christ sake,” H.B gave a jolt to the sudden voice. A sudden familiar voice. “I came to talk about shit, I should have assumed you were rubbing one out.” H.B tried to hide his member as he glanced around from his seated position. Murderess was standing a few feet behind the couch, glaring at him with a tired expression.

 

“Sorry, I wasn’t expecting anyone,” He tried to pull his pants up quickly, shoving his dick back inside. “You should really let people know when you’re coming over.” H.B clipped up his belt, walking over to the sink to wash his hands off out of courtesy. 

 

“I sent you three messages, dickhead,” Murderess huffed back at him, crossing her arms. “I assumed you were out but I guess I see why you didn’t reply now.” H.B made his way back over to her, trying to flatten out the lump in his pants with his legs as he did so, she tried to ignore it.

 

“So, what do you want to talk about?” He placed a hand on his hip, looking back at her through his glasses.

 

“We fucked-” Murderess said it so casually it caught him off guard for a moment. “-I think we need to acknowledge it at least, I thought you would be the one bringing it up. But you didn’t, so here I am.” H.B tried to make a quick comeback.

 

“I didn’t think that there was much to discuss, it’s not as if it’s affected me-” He was cut off there.

 

“Bull  **shit** . Unless you just whack one out every day at 2 in the afternoon when you’re meant to be out on missions.” Murderess seemed defensive; uncharacteristically defensive.

 

“Fine, you’re correct, it’s affected me somewhat,” He paused to gather his thoughts, Murderess waited to hear him out. “To be honest with you, I can’t stop… thinking about it…” He trailed off for a moment, avoiding eye contact with her.

 

“Me neither.” Was all Murderess puffed out, H.B looked back at her, waiting for her to add on a  _ ‘Thinking about how bad it was.’ _ but she didn’t. Her face was sincere. 

 

“So what do you want to do about it?” H.B asked, trying not to smirk as he placed a hand on his hip again.

 

“Well, I think the best call for action would be to see if I’m just hallucinating or if you’re actually a pretty decent lay after all.” Murderess replied, her voice was snarky and rude, H.B knew she was serious even with her joking tone. He took a step closer to her, nerves running through him before placing a hand on her waist. She didn’t shy away, instead she moved into him, closing her eyes as she tilted her head up.

H.B leaned his head down, pressing his lips against her own. They were as soft as he remembered they were, gently moving his jaw every few moments to keep her interested in the kiss. 

 

Murderess moved a hand to press against his side, gently feeling up the leathery armor that separated her hand from his skin. She slid her hand up to the top of it, trying to unzip it without breaking the kiss. H.B gave a slight smile as she did so, feeling her gentle hand touch his skin, he pulled her closer to grab at her ass through her pants.

 

“You’re as eager as you were last time, don’t hide it.” Murderess teased, breaking the kiss for a moment. H.B wasn’t trying to, or at least he didn’t mean to. The Pathfinder leaned down for a moment to lift her up and flip her onto the couch with a thump. She was surprised by the action, not expecting him to be so rough with her all of a sudden. Murderess was about to get up into a seated position when he crawled on top of her to push her back down. H.B grabbed at the edges of her shirt as he gave rough kisses to her cheek, pulling the shirt up whilst he dragged his hands along her sides, trying to feel her soft skin again.

He pulled the shirt over her head and flicked it onto the floor before leaning back down onto her. H.B placed a hand over her bra clasp, unclipping it and pulling the article off as well. He placed his hands over her breasts, kneading them gently in his palms before leaning his head down to give her gentle kisses on her collarbone. Murderess gave an impatient groan, H.B replied by giving her a playful bite, earning a soft noise from her. He gave her a few more bites before moving his head down further to her breast, removing one of his hands to place a nipple in his mouth.

 

Murderess gave soft puffed breaths as he played with the sensitive bud, placing a hand on his head to play with his hair as a substitute for touching herself, not as if she could reach with H.B in the way. His hair was soft, and ruffling it gave off his scent, she found it both comforting and arousing. She took a deep breath, H.B moved his head further down, giving her gentle kisses along her stomach. She looked down at him, he removed his glasses and placed them on the table, his hand hovering above her belt buckle.

 

“If you suck me off, I’m not returning the favour.” She snuffed at him, H.B gave a small chuckle.

 

“Well now, that’s fair isn’t it.” He looked up at Murderess who gave a sly grin. She was certainly happy with the choice she’d made.

The Pathfinder finally unclipped her belt, gently pulling down her pants along with her panties. Her wetness was present, but he decided to not tease her about it, considering his own tight situation. H.B pushed the clothing onto the ground, giving a gentle glance down to her core before leaning his head in. He gave gentle licks to her clit, looking up at her as she closed her eyes. Picking up his pace a tad, he watched as her face contorted a little; it just turned him on more. 

He gave a long lick to her core, tasting her. She was sweet, almost tasting of coconut, which was a little strange to him, but H.B didn’t complain. He grabbed onto her waist to lift her hind up a bit, giving him a little more leverage. 

Murderess gave puffed breaths every few moments, trying to hide the noises she desperately wanted to make in fear of his teasing words. She felt his tongue enter her and she couldn’t hold herself back any more. She gave a few gentle moans, H.B didn’t tease her about it, he was too busy with trying to pleasure her to think of things to say, all he could do was smile at her cute noises. 

 

H.B pulled his head back up to her clit, moving a hand down to her core to insert it inside her. Murderess gave a small gasp, bucking her hips at the touch. H.B curled his fingers up, pressing against her walls whilst he tongued her clit. She gave a few louder moans. She knew that she was getting close, and H.B could feel it. He felt her walls twitch around his fingers a bit and heard the change in her voice. He tried to pick up his pace, giving rougher licks and sucking on her clit a little harder to help get her over the edge. Murderess bucked her hips against him, giving out a loud moan as she came, he could feel her contractions around his fingers and helped her ride out her orgasm.

She gave out a few puffed breaths before H.B pulled his head up, wiping his mouth and chin with his clean hand. He looked down at her, her eyes were wide and she seemed so relaxed.

 

“Wow, I didn’t know you had it in you to make me cum…” She puffed out, wiping the sweat from her forehead. She sat up, pressing against his chest with her hands. “Lay down.” She demanded. H.B pulled off his armor before doing so, watching her curiously as she draped herself over his chest, giving his muscles small kisses.

Murderess pressed at his bulge, watching his face wince. She unclipped his belt, pushing his pants down and taking hold of his member.

 

“I thought you said-” He was cut off by Murderess forcing his cock into her mouth. H.B let out a rough gasp as she sucked on the head of it, clenching his teeth.    
Murderess took a hand to pump at the base of it lightly, bobbing her head along it before pulling it off altogether.

 

“That’s all you get.” She shrugged, sitting up on her knees. H.B pushed himself up with an arm, looking her in the face.

 

“Unfair, but I’ll take it I guess,” H.B pulled at her waist, urging her to come closer to him. She moved along slowly, only stopping once his cock gently tapped her own crotch. “Shall we?” Murderess wanted to slap his face, but she held back the urge, moving forward so his cock went between her legs.   
H.B pressed it against her hole, guiding it in with his hand slowly, holding himself back from starting to thrust as soon as he entered her. He held himself for a few moments before starting to move his hips, Murderess moved her legs to sit on either side of him as he thrusted into her slowly. She leaned her head onto his shoulder to hide the smile that crept across her face, only to be interrupted by H.B flipping her onto her back and pushing her down. He gave hard thrusts into her without warning, Murderess gave accidental moans, hissing out small curse words as he pounded into her. 

 

The atmosphere became a cloud of slapping sounds and grunts and moans from the both of them, H.B was making almost as much noise as Murderess was, but he was certainly a lot quieter about it. Murderess wrapped her arms around him, giving light scratches to his back, which soon turned into harder scratches as he picked up his pace. 

H.B could feel himself start to get close, trying to slow his pace a little to help Murderess get a chance to cum as well, but she just hissed a  _ ‘I’m almost there, hurry up!’ _ at him. He obliged, feeling a hand leave his pack so she could press it against herself. 

He gave a few final thrusts before he came, slamming into her as he mumbled out her name as he filled her with his cum. Murderess let out a muffled moan, her mouth wide open as she gave hard breaths.

“Hector…!” She groaned out, clinging to him with her spare arm as he slowed his thrusts. He could feel her contract around him. H.B gave her a few moments before pulling out of her. She sat up, clenching her legs together to try and hold in anything from spilling onto the couch whilst H.B went to get tissues to help her clean up.

 

“I told you, I don’t really like people calling me Hector…” He mumbled a bit, handing her a few tissues before placing the box on the coffee table beside her, picking up his glasses to place them back on.

 

“You said you wouldn’t mind a girlfriend calling you that.” H.B wasn’t sure if she was teasing him, or implying something, trying not to watch as she cleaned herself up, distracting himself by putting his pants back on.

 

“And what do you mean by that…?” He asked loosely, glancing back at her for a moment, watching as she pulled her own pants on.

 

“It means if you tell anyone I’m your girlfriend I will cut your dick off,” Murderess paused speaking for a moment as she clasped her bra. “But feel free to call me that in private.” H.B felt his face flush, reaching over to place a hand on her waist before she had time to pull her shirt on. She looked back at his eyes, he had a smile that was so goofy it didn’t really fit him at all.

 

“Does this mean I’ll get to call you Sh-”    
  
“Don’t push it.” She stopped him there, bumping him away with an elbow. H.B gave a gentle smile.

 

-

 

He felt himself buzzing for the rest of the day, even though Murderess had left and he was out trying to complete missions he couldn’t really focus again, but at least this time it wasn’t inherently sexual. A little at least.


End file.
